Three Deaths

I've been through three different deaths these past few weeks. First, my former superior's mom died, then a relative died, and just this week, a friend's father died. They were all in three different places, Dumaguete, Iloilo, and Cadiz (Bacolod) respectively. This got me into thinking, what are the odds of these happening?

Deep inside, I've been suffering my own death. I've been dying to get out from this position I am in right now. It's pretty hard to be me right in this very moment, struggling to get away from the memories that I left behind in Dumaguete, from the people that holds me back from doing new things in Iloilo, and from the harshness of the new environment I have chosen to dwell in at the moment here in Bacolod. There's too much of dying in all these places and I, too, want to end this. I've been dying inside, really dying, my heart bleeds. But death for me is a celebration of life. May be I am celebrating life deep inside, rejoicing these momentary changes that I thought will influence me as a person, triumphing this stage of life where I know I have to eventually make a choice, a risk that will plunge me in depths of realism.

It's been pretty hard to be me lately. And I'm dying to move forward and get over this. Pass me the Prozac.